Are you sure you won't fall in love?

So here's a challenge for you and a friend....

You find someone that you know and try to ask each other these questions... one by one. Let me suggest that you should find someone you don't mind falling in love with.

Let us know how you fare against these questions.

Set I

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

So there they were... The first set of questions. Pat yourself and your friend on your back. Go get a couple of drinks.

Where you are ready, let's start the second set.

Set II

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

How are you guys doing so far? Still doing well, I hope. We almost done. 11 more questions to go. If you hungry, get some snack and relax.

Set III

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

Wow... we are done!!!!! How are you two doing? I hope this has been fun for you and your partner. Let us know how you are doing after all these.

Hope to hear from you soon....

Love... ReiA

Marriage, Money and Children as sources for your happiness

I came across this article about a presentation that Prof. Daniel Gilbert - Harvard professor of psychology.

In the article, Prof. Gilbert made references to his late mother's receipe for happiness - marriage, money, and children. He said that married people "...Married people are happier than unmarried people. They are healthier, live longer, have more sex,...". In addition to just being married, the quality of marriage is another factor, and is closely related to the level of happiness. This actually is no surprise, right? If you are not very miserable in your marriage, how could you be happy.

The next factor is the money factor. He said that money has diminishing return on the level of happiness. The sweet spot is about 50,000-70,000 USD. Thinking about this a little more, I can see that, like other things, the diniminshing return of money that one has does make sense.

"children" were the next thing that he discussed. Surprisingly, children were not the source of happiness. In contary, couples see reduction in their happiness when they started having children. According to Prof. Gilbert, “The only symptom of empty nest syndrome, is nonstop smiling.” If I understand the article, the affects of children to a couples is not the happiness that the children brought to them, but rather magic moments that they brought about. I guess we will have to wait until we actually have our own children.

Don't forget to check-out Prof. Gilbert's best seller Stumbling on Happiness, I am sure will get a copy to read. Hope they do have them at the library.